When my hopes seem to dangle somewhere just beyond my reach...

I hate blogger. I tried to create an "About Me" type page and it wouldn't let me. Apparently this is too long for them. So here you are:

On a winter morning in January, I entered the world a lovely shade of blue, suffocating from the umbilical cord wrapped around my throat.

The first thing I learned in life was how to choke. Since then I've made it a running habit to react in like manner to every challenge I face, choking on words, never quite saying what I wanted, or acting the way I wanted to act, constantly frustrated with myself. Naturally, this did not make me happy. In fact, I started to hate myself so much I started to go through depression. I berated myself as worthless and could fine no argument to the contrary.

I wasn't just choking on words anymore, I started to choke on life. But God was there. He picked the exactly perfect moment to pull me from my self-made cage of despair and rescued me, setting my feet on a solid rock and putting the Holy Spirit in my heart. I was fourteen when I accepted Christ as savior and lord.

The problems didn't magically go away, I didn't stop struggling with sadness overnight, but I didn't have to succumb to all the dark thoughts that whispered suicidal urges into my ears. I didn't have to choke anymore.

Hell lost a victim that day. Since then I have been trying to learn how to give my life away to Jesus, to spread the Gospel and witness to everyone I come into contact with, by word and deed, and by the way I live my life day by day.

That's my testimony, and easily the most important thing to know about me. Beyond that...

The first thing people tend to notice about me, I am very quiet. At first, this was bound up in all the fear and paranoia I used to struggle with, and when God healed my heart, I started to break away from it, but I found that I would still wind up regretting running at the mouth, so I decided not to try to do away with my quiet nature and generally try not to speak unless necessary.

That being said, I love talking to people, especially chatty people and I like having conversations. I just don't always like taking an active role in them.

What else could I say? What I'm into? Since I picked up my first chapter book, Mishmash, at age six, I've been a voracious reader, constantly seeking out new experiences and ideas and worlds via books. I can spend hours browsing bookstores and libraries. My preference is fiction, but I also enjoy and will gladly pick up nonfiction of all sorts. And I like poetry...

This love of reading led me into writing. I've found I really enjoy studying words, and putting them together, and telling stories. It seems to be something of a natural ability. Whether I am good is disputable, but I can sit down anywhere, anytime with paper and a pen, and narritive prose will flow out. Further, I get pictures in my head, very vivid pictures, of the worlds I describe in my pictures, which is possibly what leads to others telling me my writing tends to be very discriptive.

I also really enjoy music. Music is deeply connected to writing for me. I always listen to music when I write. I'm listening to music right now...really it's because I tend to find silence somewhat unnerving. Though, as with writing fiction, I make no claim to an ounce of skill, I have recently taken to writing songs and I'm also starting to take guitar lessons...

I think I'm running out of things to talk about, which is good, because I've been babbling for quite some time. Inevitably, I tend to waste time online when I should be doing other things. There's little enough about me you need to know...I like to travel, and see new places, I like to learn new languages, and how things work, I like movies, I like games, especially physically challening games like soccer and Ultimate frisbee, and I like anything to do with the outdoors and nature.

Other random info:

-My favorite bands are Blindside, David Crowder Band, Switchfoot, As Cities Burn, Relient K and Telecast. If I listed everyone I like it would take too long. Maybe some other time...

-I also like House of Heroes. Think I'd forget them? My blog is actually named after th lyrics from one of their songs, which is why they get their own bullet point. Not because they're my favorite band, but because their song "You Are the Judas of the Cheerleading Squad" really seems to sum up my life. "Forged in the fire now the fire it burns in me."

-I have no favorite movie. Or color. Or place. Or book. I like movement and change and new things, so it's rare for me to have favorites, which is why I just listed over a half dozen bands as favorites.

-I was born in London Ohio, and my hometown is Urbana. Land of fireflies, drenching Spring rains, endless cornfields, and gigantic nasty mushrooms.

-I like art and drawing. And climbing trees. And beaches. And throwing rocks at the water at the beach so they splash my friends and huge splashing contests erupt.

-I used to have two horses, Lucy and Belle

-I can touch my tongue to my nose, I'm double-jointed, and I can still get my feet behind my head.

-I like coffee. And tea. And juice. But not pop.

-I have only ever been out of the country once, to Canada, but I can't remember it. Someday I want to see the world, and move to another country for awhile, so when I come back I can have a wicked sweet accent.

-I have over a dozen nicknames, some widely in use, including Bruce, Bryson, Brycen, Max, Horace, Bman, and Aquaman

-I am a sound crew leader in my church, and help with mixing and running the board on Sundays. I'm also a helper in children's ministry. And in my caregroup, I run snacks, a party pack, and prayer meetings.

-Rawr.