Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Son! This is it, this is it!

So I have a poem for you today. I wrote it yesterday in Trig when I was supposed to be listening to a lecture on section 3.5. Whoops. At first I didn't know what to do with it or call it, but then I remembered the thing I was going to do with writing a poem for every month of the year. I sort of did September, October, and November and forgot to keep up. But I didn't know what to do with this poem or even what to call it, so I decided to make it my June poem.

It's very odd. I may try to redraft a couple stanzas, but I'll let y'all tell me what you think first. I'll even guaruantee at least 24 hours before I probably take it down tomorrow afternoon. Without further ado and chatter, here it is.

"The Imminent Collapse of June"

The night followed her home.
the stars slid through a crack under the door,
and wove their way through her hair,
twinkling forlornly everywhere she went.
The night followed her home.

The darkness followed her down the sidewalk
a cloud of no-light that scattered shadows everywhere,
and blotted out the brightness of the sun.
The trees bowed with fear before her footsteps,
The Darkness following her down every lane.

At night she made friends with the rainclouds,
but lit bright fires to keep them at bay.
By the sea, on the sands of an abandoned beach,
she held court with summer storms,
and the rains followed her into town.

In the dusky breathless dawn of morning,
she left the night to its withering and decay,
as the stars rolled back under the waters of a blue sky,
and the moon quit its wild songs for the sun's cheery voice,
The day drew her back and the sun brought her home.

Monday, June 25, 2007

But I've never been to Boston in the fall!

I am extremely, insanely hungry. I just got out of trig, and I'm in the library because our computer at home is messed up. Our comcast computer...

I was planning on blogging about about my long four day weekend, but I want to go home so I can have dinner.

So, hurray for bullet points...that's probably for the best anyways...most of the people who read this(if not all of them) were involved somewhere anyways.

-Teen Campout! After a two hour drive to Leadville, my family pitched our camper in a parking lot.

-Uh, stuff!! I can't really remember what happened Thursday night!

-Friday! Crazy long day!

-Dave and I adventured about and built a teepee and then went to a beach by the lake and made sand castles and waded in the water. Thoroughly enjoyable.

-Lots of games. Ultimate, football, volleyball, and some sort of teen olympics
type deal.

-Gestapo! Sweetest game ever. Or at least close. One team is the gestapo(mostly the helpers) and the other team tries to get tickets through a forest in the dark without being spotted by us, who would then chase after them with flashlights and try to spot what color headband they're wearing and call it out, thus requiring them to stop. I got tackled by Mr. Kopline.

-Food poisoning! I don't want to talk about it!

-Saturday. I dropped my pancakes and bacon in the dirt. It was sad.

-The lake!! Nate, Jesse, Brandon, Joe and I braved the cold waters and dove in. This broke the ice, so to speak, for several other people, mostly teens, to jump in with us. Frivolity insued.

-My first visit to the tea box. I played speed scrabble and had my first bubble tea, and hanged/hung out with many Southies and Chad and Jared. We went for a walk and splashed around in a fountain and found a castle with pirate flags.

-Jared, Savannah, Sierra, Janet, Sarah and I had a very odd conversation after the Tea Box closed.

-I'm really hungry.

-Sunday! I had sound crew and children's ministry and the kids once more used me as a jungle gym. If you give a mouse a piggyback ride...

-The southies moved into their new building, and a handful of we northies ventured south to lend our mighty muscularness. It was a really fun day all in all, and I got to meet tons of new people and see some friends I hadn't seen in a while...

-pinecone fights!

-The biggest lumpiest bruise ever.

-An amusingly pointless trip to Cold Stone.

-Diet coke and mentoes!

-A crazy rain storm!

-Nifty two-wheeled skateboards

-Lots of other stuff...I need to go home...
Trig sucks.

Heck yes.

New blog coming soon. I have trig in thirty minutes, and I misplaced a coffee cup full of coffee.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Oh, I've been living in slow motion, I, I've been in slow motion...

Sorry, had to take it down. Needs more work. I'll try to have a bit of Cain up by next Thursday, if I can find time to work on it. I'm going camping, so I'll be gone for then next couple days. And we have Fopmas in our house. Wee Fopmas! Later llamas!

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Within the next three or four hours, I should have something up. Probably just song lyrics or a poem. I'm back at work on Cain, and redrafting the second chapter from the ground up (similar to what I did multiple times with chapter one) so it's taking time, but I finally feel like I'm making progress, assuming I can link all the different elements together properly. This chapter is less linear than the last. It has flashbacks and even a flash-forward, making it more complicated...Putting it all together is like making soup, you have to get all the ingredients in all the proper increments or it's going to taste disgusting. Also, which may or not make you all happy, I think the tone is going to be a little more sparse, with less of the whimsical, abstract metaphors. A little more so. It's something I want to build as the story progresses, so that with each chapter the tone is changing.

Long long paragraph. Later llamas. I have trig in 26 minutes! Yuck! See you soon...

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Take back that photograph, it breaks my heart...

I've got solid plans to post something tomorrow, just so you know I'm not all talk.

Two things:

Fantastic Four is not worth 8 bucks. It's good, and funny, but...some of the acting and writing is really cheesy. The story made a little more sense than the new Spiderman, but it lacked punch. I kept waiting for the big conclusion but when the movie ended, it felt like it was still in the middle of the buildup. Maybe it's just me, but the pacing seemed odd. It feels like part of the movie was missing.

The new Blindside CD is going to be completely phenomenal. I kid you not. I highly recommend checking out their myspace. All five of the new songs have been posted. "The Color of Your Eyes" and "The Way You Dance" are especially good. The best part is, it'll only be five bucks!

Hearing my favorite band put out music for the first time in two years makes me very happy. It's been awhile since I got to hear new music I like this much. So if I seem disgustingly enthusiastic, that's why.

Anyways, I should be in bed. I'm reading the Supernaturalist right now and it's really pretty good. Which I should have expected, having read it before. Yes, I know I'm already in the middle of Emma, and Octavian Nothing, and multiple other books...but...

I'm easily distracted, okay?

Later llamnators. New writing tomorrow! Bet your lucky socks on it!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Hold my hand, while I'm sinking in the sand...


Sorry for all the talk of writing with so little actual posting.

I've been finding it hard to make time to write, so it' been slow going with everything except my fantasy trilogy, which is no longer a trilogy at all, actually.

I decided to make it four books instead of three, because the plot was getting too big for three books, and I was starting to feel really confined when I thought about trying to pack so much story into the third book, Shadowflame. It's a notion I've actually been entertaining for quite a while, but it's just such a massive project I didn't want to step into something so daunting for my first project. But really, I feel less pressure now. For some reason it feels less necessary to write all four books at once the way it did with three.

So yes, four books. I'm really excited, because the plot just makes more sense this way. The new book will probably be called Nightshade, named for a flower that plays an important role in the final book, in healing a curse laid on one of the main characters.

That's another thing, I got a slew of new ideas today for Shadowflame. I really want to talk about it, but I should save it for some other time, since it would ruin the plot for the first two books, which are going to be pretty interesting in their own right, I should hope. Although compared to the three books that follow it, the first book is boring! I can't wait to get to the latter three books in the uhhhh Quadrilogy?

I'm still trying to decide whether to post a song or not. I have a few I'm working on. Eventually, when I get better at playing guitar, I'd like to work out chords and a melody and the like for them, but that's dependent on my learning to play. I don't know about singing. For some reason, even though I hate the sound of my own voice, I sometimes like the way it sounds when I sing. I don't think I'm a very good singer at all, but I'd still like to try it some.

Bum bum bum. The same goes for pretty much everything. I have blogs, poetry, and fiction I could post, just not sure if I want to. I've nothing yet rivaling Cain, for sure.

So yes, a full update about not posting anything...I seem to excel at these.

Later lamermines, sons and daugters of llama and ermine.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Oodles of Toy Poodles

I'm back from the camping.

It was pretty sweet. I don't feel like sitting at the computer much longer, so I'll have to write about it later. Hopefully I can type up and put the finishing touches on some other stuff too...

Maybe I'll just talk about it now. It was a wonderful trip, very refreshing, just being out of the busyness and work and school and everything. Worship was great. Devotions this morning were also really sweet. I hiked way up this trail by myself and just prayed and read my bible. God was really moving in my life this weekend, in somewhat subtle ways, just teaching me to listen to God and trust Him.

The stars were incredible, you could see thousands. Last night a little group of us laid out and stargazed...and satellite gazed...you could see quite a few satellites, too. And we saw some shooting stars. Eric got to wish on the first one, but Deborah and I wouldn't let him wish on the next one. We both wished on it really fast so he couldn't. Supposedly there were bats, too. But I didn't see any. And I don't think anybody tried to wish on them. I don't know what bat wishes would even do. You'd probably explode, or turn into a caterpillar.

And we had smores, and leaping over streams, and swinging at a random playground, and scaring Ashton with stories, and we roasted twizzlers on the fire, and jousting, among other things. I slept in my car. I wanted to sleep in a tent, but it filled before I went to bed at like 1. It wasn't bad, though. I have a comfy car.

As usual, i'm sure I'm forgetting stuff but I have coffee waiting and stuff to clean, so I must be off. Later llamus.

Friday, June 15, 2007

I think I've stayed for the last time, goodbye...

Because a certain someone, who shall remain entirely nameless, elected not to change the link on their blog to mine when I switched back from Word Press, I have altered said someone's link to their page on my own...

Anyways, quickly jumping in and out. Later llamus! I'm off to camp! Camp OUT!! Bye!

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Everybody dance to the invisible hook!

I was supposed to blog today and yesterday, wasn't I?


Maybe next week...going to be pretty busy the next couple days. Actually, I may have time on Saturday night.

We're preparing some spaghetti sauce for the teen campout for our church next week and the onions my mom sauteed are stinking up the WHOLE HOUSE. At first I didn't mind the scent because I barely noticed it but now it is bringing me to tears.

And in addition to the teen campout, which I may or may not be going to (I'm kinda hoping not, I'd miss caregroup) we have a campout tomorrow! And the best part is, it's sure to rain. Why? Because it always rains at singles campouts, no matter what the weather forecast says. We will plan for games like Ultimate, but I fear any such plans will eventually come to ruin and vanity. Ah well, I'm sure it'll be fun...camping in the rain is pretty sweet. Last year I slept in my jeep, and it was actually pretty comfy and toasty. I'd like to sleep in a tent, this year, but I'm glad my jeep will be there should I wish to use it.

But probably not. If we get attacked by bears, it'll be up to me to use my medieval ninjutsu to protect everyone.

Um, anyways, I always say I don't have time to post anything, then type on and on forever, so I'm going to jet, later llamus, children of llama and emu.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Hope y'all like this layout, because I love it. So much better than dots!

Focus on the horizon, men, should you grow seasick...


I got sick of my old look, so I changed it. Dunno how I feel about dots, so I may change it. Let me know how y'all like it. I think dots is a lot better, but I may look for something I like better still. All that blue was just...bleh, it got really bland after awhile.

Also, if there are no objections, I've going to remove my music player. Blogger keeps cutting it off, and I don't like taking the time to mess with it too much, so I can't change the songs that often. I'll keep it if anybody likes, but otherwise it is gone. Same with the facebook badge, it is serving no purpose.

So, here's a little schedule for my blogging. With any luck I'll actually stick with it.

Today: lyrics

Tomorrow: Devotional blog, if it seems fit for posting.

Thursday: New poem or song. I've got a good number of both that I haven't posted yet.

Friday: New fiction. Hoping to have a bit of either Sunset or Cain done soon. We'll see how things go...

I've been cleaning out my room today, and going through all my junk. I own a massive number of books. I think I'm going to get rid of some stuff. Maybe not any books, though. May post something on myspace or facebook to see if anybody wants some of the things I have that need to go...I don't know, anyways.

As I have stated, I like the new As Cities Burn song. I've also said I wanted to post the lyrics. They've really made me think. At church and caregroup, we've been talking about false gospels and how we try to justify ourselves through works, and I think this song was written with similar thoughts in mind...

"This Is It, This Is It"

focus on the horizon, men
should you grow seasick
but don't expect silhouettes
of rescuer ships coming

coming, they arent coming for us

we've got prices on our heads
and millstones around our necks
we try to live forgiven but they won't let us forget
the bodies we're still in
the bodies that we still war against

son, this is it, this is it
you're gonna sink for your sins
unless grace be the wind
son, this is it, this is it
we're all sinking for our sins
unless grace be the wind

forget about being honest
forget about being passionate
wear that smile like you feel it
even when you don't
forget about being honest
forget about being passionate
i think they forgot about Jesus
seeking us out

in the bodies we're still in
the bodies we still war

son, this is it, this is it
you're gonna sink for your sins
unless grace be the wind
son, this is it, this is it
we're all sinking for our sins
unless grace be the wind
to fill our sails

-As Cities Burn

So...speaken you, let me know what you think...later ligers.

Monday, June 11, 2007

You're gonna sink for your sins, unless grace be wind.


A new As Cities Burn song has been released, and naturally, it rocks. I'll post the lyrics tomorrowm, since I'm doubting I'll have much to blog about, unless I post one of my lame journal entries or something.


We had our annual church picnic yesterday. Well, bi-annual, I guess. I don't know if we are going to have another this year, but that has been the trend lately.

I guess when most people think picnic, they think relaxation, fresh air, yummy food, all that kind of thing.

Pretty much not how I think of church picnics at all. I tend to be constantly moving from game to game, seeing how far I can push myself before I drop. This year was no exception.

The games:

Netless volleyball!




Ultimate frisbee!

Letting kids get me soaking wet!

Grass fight!!

Football again!

All in all, a pretty good time. I do not think I have ever been that sweaty in my entire life.

Hmm. We also had Panera Bread to celebrate Emily's birthday. I got tuna salad. It doesn't beat Qdoba(or Chipolte, for which I was outvoted) but it was pretty tasty.

So yeah, today was weird. I took a nap. I never take naps. It was rather excellent, though. I was pretty sore from my crazy weekend(plus a short but physically demanding shift this morning) but after I woke up from my nap I was groggy but I felt better. Usually I feel awful after naps. Maybe I just needed one really bad, I dunno.

And...I had spicy peanuts and an Arizona green tea, both new to me. And not bad. I have almost completely quit drinking pop. And...I've felt better lately. I've had a little more energy. Yesterday I was running faster and playing better than I generally tend to.

So, so, so. I'm sure I had more to say. Maybe? I thought so. I passed my trig test, which was pretty shocking to me. As I said last week, I totally thought I bombed, but I guess the teacher omitted two problems, worth ten points each, so I jumped up by two whole letter grades from a D to a B. And do you know what that means?! I may actually pass the class!

I'm forgetting stuff, I know I am. Oh well. I'm at the library now, and getting ready to go home. Guitar practice?! Writing?! Zelda?! Anime?! Devotions?! All that and more! Later llamas!!

Oh oh! I'm going to try to post some pictures soon. I have a new camera phone so I can take lots of pictures now. Sadly, it's actually a better camera than my beat up old Sony. But not as good as my parents camera. It's a good thing I haven't used it too much. It's such a nice camera, I would be able to use nothing else.

Anyways, like I said, later!

Saturday, June 9, 2007

Hold up! Wait a minute! Put a little love in it!


My weekend is off to quite a start.

Okay, no forced exclamation point heavy enthusiasm this time, but still.

I don't know. I'm actually pretty tired right now. Yesterday was caregroup, and in addition to some great worship and prayer and discussion, we had a good time. I helped make strawberry shortcake (You're not off the hook, jello, I shall defeat you yet!!). I don't know, I'm sure there is lots and tons I could talk about, but I'm finding it hard to remember everything. Mostly now I remember looking at Chad's buggy pictures, and Jeremy being way to friendly with the touching and making me yell really loud at Village Inn.

And...sprinklers. I ran through the sprinklers right before I got in my car to leave. That was pretty sweet.

So. Why am I so tired you ask?

Well...it all started this morning when I woke up. Yup. I woke up this morning. I admit it. And not only that, I woke up before six!! I got like four or five hours sleep, I think, maybe more. I didn't get to sleep until late because there was a big old crowd of people in my house when I got there, and I needed to make sure they all left before I went to bed.

So yeah, leadership class, my last one. This means I may be able to stay out later on some fridays, when my dad's in town to close up the house anyways. Um, I may not be making sense. We have caregroup at our house, a singles caregroup, every friday, but I attend a different caregroup, one I've been going to for, gosh, three years now. So I need to be home by eleven when my dad is up at work(he's a firefighter in summit county, he works solid 48 hour shifts).

Blah blah blah. I don't feel like I'm making sense, nor am I sure why I explain this.

Moving on.


We had our men's meeting, as is pretty typical for a Saturday. There were just four of us today, me (duh), Jared, Asher and Nate. We talked. We ate cereal. Nate showed us a bug he caught.


We cleaned the church, Jared, Eric and I. (Jared and I had quite a day...)

I vacuumed!

I sang out loud and didn't realize someone could hear me!

I washed windows!

I moved furniture!

I went home and tried in vain to get ahold of Nate Fopma!



This part of the day was rather crazy. Those faint of heart may want to skip this part.

First, Jared, Jon La Bass, Nate and I gathered at Jared's place. (Not that Nate, a third one.) We then carried inner tubes on a good like hike through Golden. Golden's pretty sweet. I love it up there, lots of beautiful mesas (or plateus, if you speak french, oui oui) reaching into the sky all around.

The river, I'm told, was quite a bit higher than normal. Nothing I was told as we hiked through town and out to a river outside the city could curb my enthusiasm to tube. This is generally my way. I get excited about stuff and jump in feetfirst. Or headfirst, it really doesn't matter until you land. I was also told there was quite a bit of runoff, and that if you aren't careful, you can get sucked under, get your foot stuck, and drown.

Naturally, I didn't care. I was in. That's all that mattered.

So naturally, when we hike quite a ways along this path, and I'm told we can hike higher to an even crazier area than is generally advisable, I'm in. Let's do it. And yet, before we can even get up there, as we're crossing a little outlet with some VERY fast moving water, I lose my footing and my tube. The footing I got back without slipping, the tube I did not.

The stupid current got a hold of it, and before any of us could do anything, it was gone. I took off running, but I couldn't keep up before my feet started to get torn up by gravel and generally rough terrain. Apparently Jared has feet of steel, because he took off running after I went back for sandals and beat me down, which rather shocked me, I've always thought of myself as having very tough feet. I probably should have just run through the pain. Then running on gravel wouldn't even bother me anymore. Oh well, hindsight. I'll save charging like a lunatic over painfully sharp rocks for next time.

Eventually, Jared managed to find the inner tube. Apparently someone stopped it and gave it to a little kid, and then Jared got it from the little child. And then I showed up just in time to walk back uphill to the launch point for the tubes.

After that, we decided we weren't ready for the crazy area, and just jumped into standard launch point.

Which was quite enough!

The water was SO SO SO COLD.

Seriously, it felt like rolling around in snow, like electricity running through me. I couldn't believe as I started to get going that I was about to spend a very long time in it. Part of me was instantly happy, since I was a fish in a past life, but the cold was quite a shock.

And I had no tubing knowledge save a handful of random tips from Jared and Nate. I'd never gone tubing before(part of the reason for my eagerness) so I didn't really know how to steer or anything. Stear. No, it's steer. Which is fine, really. All part of the adventure. I like jumping in and figuring things out as I go, flying by the seat of your swimming trunks or whatever.

But the rapids, that's where it got insane.

At first, while the going was smooth, I was just trying to learn how to stay upright in my tube (something that takes more practice than you'd think). I fell out almost right away and hit bottom. This was nothing. Cold but excited I climbed back in, eager for whatever was ahead.

But I wasn't really ready when I hit my first wave. I don't know what could have prepared me for such a thing. It's just one second your floating along, the next you're sucked spinning into a jetstream, trying to catch your breath and stay on.

The staying on I struggled with all the way down. I would fall off, get dragged along by my tube, then struggle to get back on without losing the tube. I got completely submerged more than once. It was pretty awesome and exhilarating, and I rather loved it, until I reached a point where I just could not get back on my tube. The current was so fast, I couldn't get it back under me, and I couldn't let it go without risking losing another tube, so I clung on tight while it dragged me over the rocks in some really nasty areas and got some pretty sweet bruises.

And I couldn't stop!

It's really difficult to gain purchase underwater, and when I finally decided I had to get out before I got myself killed, I wound up just still getting dragged along in the shallows, until I finally managed to wedge myself between a few rocks, and then I couldn't get out of the water without losing the tube (not easily anyways) and this kind woman helped me out at this point, and I dropped my tube and all but collapsed into the grass. My limps were bright red and so numb I couldn't feel anything but pins and needles. I felt like a bundle of sticks, arms and legs barely working.

After a few seconds, I worked up some strength and got moving to find my fellow tubers. Jon wound up not lasting much longer than me. When we all met up again, he and I could not stop chattering. I've never actually felt my teeth chatter before. It wasn't until a little later that I realized I wasn't actually cold, which is according to my mom, the beginning of hypothermia. I automatically assumed, since I was shaking and my teeth were chattering, I must be cold.

The Mines portion of our group(four guys at this point) wanted to go back in, but Jon and I, being all but immobilized, were somewhat reluctant. Jon, to my surprise, went back in. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I didn't feel like I could swim, I was shaking so bad. Which is pretty out of character for me. I'm usually the last to quit everything. Oh well, at least I didn't die. It was all very humbling, really. I spent a lot of my time in the water at the river's mercy. It made me realize how frail human beings are in the grand scheme of things. I can't even get myself out of a river when I want, and yet God can make the river, control the river, and even get me safely out of it! Amazing stuff.

So I wound up waiting a little bit, and then we hugged some bronze fish that helped us warm up, or it helped everyone else warm up. I started to get leg cramps...

Um, so! My first tubing adventure! It was quite a bit of fun. And very humbling. I need to work out more. Yes, I said it. I do. If I'm going to do risky stuff like this, especially eagerly, then I need to be strong enough to get myself out of sticky situations. And I do love doing stuff like river rafting. I can't wait to go again. Hopefully it'll be warmer next time.But if not, oh well. Toughening up is always good! I want to go up further and try out the "crazy area".

Anyways, after that we chilled at Jared's, warming up. I tried earl gray tea, and we played ping pong and made french toast, and it was lovely. I'd talk more, but people are wanting to use this computer, so I'm getting off. I've already blabbed enough anyways! Later llamas!

Friday, June 8, 2007

Grace make your way, make your way...

I had my first guitar lesson yesterday...

I can't decide whether I'm more excited or confused. I had to take in a lot of info about frets and finger positions and chords and piano notes and tuning and notes but I think I learned five chords! I'm getting ready to practice now...my teacher, GCC's bass player Mr. Smith, gave me a couple song sheets, too. The only easy song he could find was Brown Eyed Girl, so I guess it'll be the first song I'll learn...I'm going to feel a little silly practicing to it, especially since I have to sing, too, but oh well...Mr. Smith excepts me to sing, and if I don't practice, then I'm going to sound like a total doof next Thursday.


I'm probably going to learn "I'm Calling Out" too, which seems more practical. I won't be able to woo any girls, but I'll be able to participate instrumentally in worship...

Sorry for the topic swerve, but I quit writing for awhile...

I just found out what's on the new Blindside EP!!

Not quite what I'd hoped, but I'm not really disappointed...two Blindside songs tend to be worth ten songs from other bands, case in point, I can't get enough of the crappy, live version of The Way You Dance...


The Way You Dance
Pretty Nights
Fell in Love with The Game(Live)
My Alibi(Live)
When I Remember(Live)

Really looking forward to the live tracks, too. I'm pretty sure the acoustic versions of Pitiful and Sleepwalking were live. I could be wrong, but I think all three recordings will sound pretty sweet.

In other news, I found "The Hoard" (As Cities Burn) on eyetunes, which rather shocked me. They didn't breathe a word about it online or anything. I bought it right then and there...it's a pretty sweet song. Too bad the whole CD's not coming out till August...but they're posting a new song on their Myspace next week!

Hum. I need to go do other things! I'll try to post a good blog soon cheeky llamas.

Thursday, June 7, 2007

"Are you starting to feel it?"

I love Blindside.

I love the new Blindside song.

My "top ten songs" list is back. Guess who's on top. You should really check this video out, if you haven't already. I'm totally addicted to it. Been listening to it over and over again as I do other stuff on computer...


At first I didn't like it because you can barely understand Christian's singing in parts, but the beat is great. I can't wait for the EP to come out. Two more weeks...

Later llamas.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007


I'm pretty sure I just bombed my first trigonometry test.

But, on the bright side, I got a new phone today. Except texting doesn't work right. Apparently a picture text I sent out got picked up by someone in another state with a 314 area code, which makes me wonder who ELSE is getting my texts? Very odd, no?

But anyways...

Um, I don't know. I'm not feeling that great right now. And I'm not really in a good mood.

I need to have devotions. And coffee. And maybe sleep. You know what's weird? I'm in the mood for tea. I used to hate tea. Anyways, I'm not in any sort of mood where I should be posting, so later emus.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

When my hopes seem to dangle somewhere just beyond my reach...

I hate blogger. I tried to create an "About Me" type page and it wouldn't let me. Apparently this is too long for them. So here you are:

On a winter morning in January, I entered the world a lovely shade of blue, suffocating from the umbilical cord wrapped around my throat.

The first thing I learned in life was how to choke. Since then I've made it a running habit to react in like manner to every challenge I face, choking on words, never quite saying what I wanted, or acting the way I wanted to act, constantly frustrated with myself. Naturally, this did not make me happy. In fact, I started to hate myself so much I started to go through depression. I berated myself as worthless and could fine no argument to the contrary.

I wasn't just choking on words anymore, I started to choke on life. But God was there. He picked the exactly perfect moment to pull me from my self-made cage of despair and rescued me, setting my feet on a solid rock and putting the Holy Spirit in my heart. I was fourteen when I accepted Christ as savior and lord.

The problems didn't magically go away, I didn't stop struggling with sadness overnight, but I didn't have to succumb to all the dark thoughts that whispered suicidal urges into my ears. I didn't have to choke anymore.

Hell lost a victim that day. Since then I have been trying to learn how to give my life away to Jesus, to spread the Gospel and witness to everyone I come into contact with, by word and deed, and by the way I live my life day by day.

That's my testimony, and easily the most important thing to know about me. Beyond that...

The first thing people tend to notice about me, I am very quiet. At first, this was bound up in all the fear and paranoia I used to struggle with, and when God healed my heart, I started to break away from it, but I found that I would still wind up regretting running at the mouth, so I decided not to try to do away with my quiet nature and generally try not to speak unless necessary.

That being said, I love talking to people, especially chatty people and I like having conversations. I just don't always like taking an active role in them.

What else could I say? What I'm into? Since I picked up my first chapter book, Mishmash, at age six, I've been a voracious reader, constantly seeking out new experiences and ideas and worlds via books. I can spend hours browsing bookstores and libraries. My preference is fiction, but I also enjoy and will gladly pick up nonfiction of all sorts. And I like poetry...

This love of reading led me into writing. I've found I really enjoy studying words, and putting them together, and telling stories. It seems to be something of a natural ability. Whether I am good is disputable, but I can sit down anywhere, anytime with paper and a pen, and narritive prose will flow out. Further, I get pictures in my head, very vivid pictures, of the worlds I describe in my pictures, which is possibly what leads to others telling me my writing tends to be very discriptive.

I also really enjoy music. Music is deeply connected to writing for me. I always listen to music when I write. I'm listening to music right now...really it's because I tend to find silence somewhat unnerving. Though, as with writing fiction, I make no claim to an ounce of skill, I have recently taken to writing songs and I'm also starting to take guitar lessons...

I think I'm running out of things to talk about, which is good, because I've been babbling for quite some time. Inevitably, I tend to waste time online when I should be doing other things. There's little enough about me you need to know...I like to travel, and see new places, I like to learn new languages, and how things work, I like movies, I like games, especially physically challening games like soccer and Ultimate frisbee, and I like anything to do with the outdoors and nature.

Other random info:

-My favorite bands are Blindside, David Crowder Band, Switchfoot, As Cities Burn, Relient K and Telecast. If I listed everyone I like it would take too long. Maybe some other time...

-I also like House of Heroes. Think I'd forget them? My blog is actually named after th lyrics from one of their songs, which is why they get their own bullet point. Not because they're my favorite band, but because their song "You Are the Judas of the Cheerleading Squad" really seems to sum up my life. "Forged in the fire now the fire it burns in me."

-I have no favorite movie. Or color. Or place. Or book. I like movement and change and new things, so it's rare for me to have favorites, which is why I just listed over a half dozen bands as favorites.

-I was born in London Ohio, and my hometown is Urbana. Land of fireflies, drenching Spring rains, endless cornfields, and gigantic nasty mushrooms.

-I like art and drawing. And climbing trees. And beaches. And throwing rocks at the water at the beach so they splash my friends and huge splashing contests erupt.

-I used to have two horses, Lucy and Belle

-I can touch my tongue to my nose, I'm double-jointed, and I can still get my feet behind my head.

-I like coffee. And tea. And juice. But not pop.

-I have only ever been out of the country once, to Canada, but I can't remember it. Someday I want to see the world, and move to another country for awhile, so when I come back I can have a wicked sweet accent.

-I have over a dozen nicknames, some widely in use, including Bruce, Bryson, Brycen, Max, Horace, Bman, and Aquaman

-I am a sound crew leader in my church, and help with mixing and running the board on Sundays. I'm also a helper in children's ministry. And in my caregroup, I run snacks, a party pack, and prayer meetings.


"Just in case, I will leave my bags packed, so I can run away..."

Hi llamas.

Had another interesting weekend. Let's see...


Nate's prayer and worship night to christen his house! Open it! Whatever you want to call it! We had a good time! Chad and I played Nintendo DS for awhile, because he JUST GOT ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to bed sometime that night, but I can't remember when!!!!!!!


Men's meeting! Jared and I tried to keep up with Nate's ceiling fan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We all spun ourselves dizzy!! It was great!

I bought music that evening!!!!!!!! Including a Coldplay song I didn't mention before!!!!


Red Robin!! Chile!! Fries!! Dr. Pepper!!

Ultimate Frisbee at the park!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dave can run fast! I had a hard time keeping up with him, but I got a couple blocks and interceptions in for the FIRST TIME EVER. I mean, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER!!!!!!

Um um! Then I got sick for awhile and went to King Soopers for my mom, and I bought SKITTLES and TWIZZLERS!! FOR WHAT YOU ASK?!

Pirates 3! Who came, you ask?! In seating order!! Jared, Chad, Nate, me, Molly, Daisy, Savannah, Sean and Daniel!! The movie was weird!! And I couldn't decide if I should be cheering for anyone, because all the characters were morally ambiguous!! There were no good guys!! I never, ever want to see Jack Sparrow look at a goat again!! Or a donkey! When he looks at a donkey in the first movie, it's disturbing now!

*collapses from fit of exclamation point fury*


Some quotes from the weekend.

Let's see. Oh yes. I forgot. Monday. Was. Cool. Too. I went to my sister's softball game. And then. Some. Of. Us. Went. To. Denny's, which is not IHOP, it would seem.

Oh yes. Quotes. Here we go. Try not to explode, with excitement.

-"Jon, guard the women!" -Lots of people

-"Barbossa, marry us!" -Orlando Bloom

-"...and really bad eggs" -Chad

-"Bryce gets all the girls cause he has skittles." -Jared

-"They killed Batman!" -Me, at work

-"Yeah, I'll have the Moons Over My Hammy" Me, at Denny's

There's more, but I can't remember them...maybe I'll add more later. The conversation at Denny's was great. Oh yes, and Deborah gave me a word! Apparently she has a thing where she picks one word that she thinks really sums someone's character up...let me see if I can remember them all.

Me: Intentional

Jon: Successful

Erica: Thoughtful

Matt: Cheerful

And she was still working on Zach's...

Whelp, I can think of nothing else to say. I'm going to go shower and do my devotions and then WHO KNOWS WHAT?! Hopefully lots of writing! And maybe (ick) some trig homework.

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Fish in the sea, you know how I feel...


Haven't had much to say lately. Not blogging as much anymore...I've got no writing to show for my silence. I'm working on getting the plot for a couple books down, but hopefully once everything is worked out, I'll be able to get back into the groove of writing more frequently.

I'm also going to begin studiously seeking out an outlet to publish Cain, which I've not done thus far, and I'm going to continue work on Chapter 2, which I posted half of a month or so ago.

Short term goals:

-Prologue and first three chapters of Sunset

-Prologue and first chapter of The Mobilus,
my superhero story (which needs a new title, I'm thinking...)

-First chapter of The Sea of Forgetfulness a
story you may recall by its old title, Work.

-First chapter of Kingdom Darkness, a story I've never blogged about. Fairly straight-forward allegory. Still not sure I'm even going to write it.

-Outlining for A Hornet's Nest and the Scarred Letters, two trilogies I plan on writing after Sunset. The former is a sci-fi story I've not talked about, the latter is a sequel to the Fall of Light.

-First two chapters of Vivisections and Atom

-Three chapters of Cain

-Rework Adam

Hmm, that's a lot of writing, but it's good to set goals. I feel better now for having written out some of my plans!

I've got a few new poems I've been sitting on that I could also post. I'm just doubtful they're any good. Perhaps I'll at least post the sequel to Descents (Or Nightfall or Sunset, whatever I decided to call it), a poem I wrote for Ascent(second book of the Fall of Light trilogy) called "I Miss the Stars"

Blah blah blah.

I'm considering buying some music on eyetunes. Here's what I'm thinking of getting:

-"Work" -Jars of Clay

-"Rock of Ages -David Crowder Band

-"Feeling Good" -Michael Buble (Only because I couldn't find a better version...)

-"I Can't Explain" -Sixpence None the Richer (I like "Field of Flowers", too, but the lyrics are so dorky...)

-"First Time"- Lifehouse

-"The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" -Relient K

-"Come Away With Me" -Jonah Nones, I mean Norah Jones!

I also really want KT Tunstall's album (90%, anyways...) but I may wait on that...

Speaking of Feeling Good, I've liked that song ever since I heard it performed on American Idol. The one time I watched it this season, I heard this girl perform, and I thought she did great, and i was thinking about watching the season, and then ten minutes later I walk in the room and they're SENDING HER HOME. I never watched American Idol again! Good people always leave too early. America, you have no taste!!

Later llamas!