Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Cain: Chapter 2 (second draft)

Here you be. Any feedback would be appreciated...otherwise...enjoy. Well, hopefully enjoy, anyways.

I like coffee. And rain. And Biology. And writing. This is a good day.

"Cain"

Chapter Two: Fear of Paradise

Nauseated and dizzy, my bare feet churned recklessly through the grass, my mind unable to grasp what I’d just done. The northern sky rolled above me, a massive, breathtaking panorama of endless clouds. Gigantic thunderheads roared at each other, titans seemingly rousing at my presence to reach down and crush me.

Eden lay behind me. I ran from paradise. Worse, I ran from my father, now lying unconscious at the gates of that once beautiful garden. I ran from the rock I’d clubbed him with, and I ran from my fear. The fear. That was the one thing I could never seem to escape.

I can never go back.

I knew there would be no home for me in the valley now. It hardly mattered whether or not my family would accept me. My shame was a deep canyon across which I could only see the people in my life, not be with them.. I could never look Mother in the eye again. I would never be able to face Azura, let alone Adam.

Adam would hate me forever.

If he didn’t bleed to death or get devoured by beasts.

I knew I was running from comfort, safety and shelter into an unknown and empty world, but I couldn’t stop myself. I had to know. I had to find out where we’d come from, find Adam and Eve’s parents. I had to prove them wrong and show them up for the liars they surely were.

Maybe I’ll be the one to get devoured by beasts.

Night was falling. Despite the fact that it was light out, the world held that still, shadowy quality that comes just before the darkness begins to grow stronger. The oranges and pinks have all faded back into blue, but I can still see to find my way.

It wasn’t until exhaustion began to set in that I was forced to stop. The night and the storm towered around me, hiding all light and noise. The land here was mostly prairie with the occasional rock formation. The tall, lush grass had been pleasant at first, waving in the gentle wind, but now with the storm picking up, the wind was sending it slapping into my face.

As I slowed to a walk, I began to worry about shelter. Surely it would start to rain soon. Lighting flashed, and I was given a brief glimpse of the area. A low rise of smooth, round boulders lay a hundred yards to the west. I dashed toward them, hopeful. The rain finally managed to free itself from the cloud then, wrenching out in a massive downpour like dirty water being wrung from a washcloth. I was soaked to the bone by the time I reached the rock. I frantically searched the rocks for a place to wait out the storm and finally found a tiny little cave to curl up in on the far face of the rock. It didn’t totally protect me from the wind and rain, but I felt relatively safe from the reach of the titans screaming for me on the winds.

I leaned my head against the wall and sighed, wet hair dripping into my lap. Deeply exhausted from the days events, I could not resist sleep for a second. I didn’t want to dream about the day past, but I couldn’t help it.

---

Sunrise. Going back from evening and starting at the beginning, it is the morning of the day I ran away. I wake as the sun yawns and stretches itself across the sky. Three months have passed since my baby sister died. Exactly ninety days. I know because Adam keeps track. There is a dead tree on the northern edge of our valley that died long ago. Adam, as part of his morning ritual, goes out there every morning and carves a notch into it, marking off another day.

Which is basically what every day is, another notch in the tree. The sun returns as boring as the sunset it said goodnight with. I couldn’t help wishing it were already time to put in a notch for tomorrow. As if most days weren’t bad enough, today was my thirteenth birthday, according to Adam. Which meant lots of unwanted fuss for a boy who didn’t deserve a bit of it.

Pressed against a wall of our one room hut, I watch the sky through a tiny whole in the slats, willing myself to be still.

The longer I can pretend to sleep, the longer till the day starts.

Normally I would be woken up at sunrise, but not today. Not on my birthday. This was the day’s one advantage. I took one last eyeful of the morning sky and tried to settle in and fall back asleep again. I was just beginning to drift back into the dream worlds beyond my eyelids when a gentle tap awoke me. Jumping up with a start, I nearly yelled, but one of Adam’s strong, hands, smelling of dirt and sawdust, clamped over it slowly and softly.

“Shhhh.” He whispered. “Come outside with me.”

Irritable, I followed him, stepping over my snoring siblings. There was only one real bed. The children slept on hay pallets strewn across the floor every evening and stacked every morning when it was time to mark off another day.

When we stood outside, about ten feet off from the house, he told me why he’d drug me away from bed. “I wanted to show you something today, Cain. Something for your birthday. Until now, you and your siblings have only heard about the Garden of Eden in stories, but today, I’m going to take you there.”

My heart leapt into my throat. I could hardly believe such a fortunate turn of events. This was my chance to escape! I never considered for a second he might actually be telling the truth about Eden. It was a sham, I knew it was a sham, if I could only find more people, new people, it would be worth it. In my head I could already picture what it might look like. Not one pathetic little hut but dozens of grand buildings filled with interesting people, new people. That was what I wanted, to find people outside my family that thought like me and wanted to live the way I wanted to live.

People like me that hated people like Abel. People with shaky hands.

Feigning reluctance, I agreed to go with him.

We set off an hour later. Barely a soul stirred at our exit. Only Eve woke to see us off, smiling tiredly.

Like a flower with its petals unfolded, the sunrise was in full bloom as we left the valley behind us and strode west at a steady clip, my short legs struggling to keep up with Adam’s faster gait. There wasn’t much to see. Just grass, the sky, the odd rock formation. The land out here gently rolled, swelling and dipping into hills and valleys. In the distance, I could see handfuls of trees scattered here and there, but these were little better than specks against the deep blue sky, like water stained with specks of dirt.

My thoughts grew increasingly dark and wicked as the morning matured into noon and then afternoon. The day was preparing for that long, suicidal plunge into evening, and this served to make my disposition increasingly surly. I could only watch helpless as the afternoon hours began to slide by. I found my hands clenching and unclenching, tension and anxiety strewing seedlings in my mind that began to sprout. It was fortunate that Adam spoke only a little, for this would have increased the poisonous anger digging its roots into me tenfold. I knew I had to escape, and that it would mean hurting Adam, maybe killing him.

A few hours before sunset, a long black line appeared on the horizon atop the crest of a hill, some sort of massive wall. Could it really be Eden? I thought to myself, filled with disbelief.

My pace began to quicken, the nearer it grew. What if it not a garden but a city? What if Adam was taking me to see my grandparents? Surely he was going to apologize for lying, and tell the truth. Then I could travel far away see all the strange, wondrous lands beyond our little corner of the world.

As we reached the top of the hill, I saw that I was the one who was wrong. Adam had not lied to me at all. A massive wall of vibrant green bush stretched thirty feet overhead and at least a mile in either direction. Massive, trees with thick trunks soared higher than the wall in parts. I was surprised to see that their branches were all bare, just withered fingers clutching at the sky.

My cruelty slid to the surface then, that deep malignant desire to hurt someone. Adam had told the truth. Somehow, this made me as angry as anything he could have done. I seethed, fists clenched, stance tight and rigid.

Adam had to have noticed my anger during the journey, but he had ignored it, and continued to do so, staying quiet, studying the decaying paradise before us. He seemed overwhelmed, too overwhelmed to realize I was losing my grip.

I gritted my teeth against a scream. I didn’t want to be wrong, and it was filling me with hate. Right then, I hated him even more than I hated Abel, that wicked little do-gooder. After a moment, I realized Adam would know something was going on the second he looked at me and forced myself to bury my emotions.

For a long time, he was too out of it to pay attention to the inner struggle going on beside him. When he finally glanced my way, I had everything under control. My face blank, I simply stared at him, wondering what his plan was now that we were actually here. Were we going to sneak in? If they were really telling the truth about what happened here, a burning sword would make that impossible.

“What now?” I finally said after a moment, impatient.

“We find a way in.” Adam said simply. His voice was soft but excited, filled with yearning. He tilted his head back, glancing up the length of the wall, scanning the thick green leaves that stood between us and paradise.

“But you said a burning sword guarded the way in!”

“Yes”, he said, glancing down at me and narrowing his eyes, frowning in concentration. “It did once. That’s not to say the sword is still here. Perhaps it went back to heaven.”

I said nothing, doubtful. I didn’t care about Eden. It seemed to be dying. My brain spun through plan after plan to escape.

“Come on, Cain.” Adam said, turning away from me and beginning to walk the length of the wall. I sighed audibly and began to march. The sky was changing, I saw. Turbulent storm clouds were piling up, one atop another into massive, dark, towering thunderheads that bruised the sky.

“The gate will be this way,” he called, glancing back my way for a moment. I opened my mouth, fully prepared to tell him what he could do with this gate, when a sharp pain in my foot nearly pitched me to the ground. I glanced down to see a small, light brown resting on the ground, one side rounded, the other pointed but blunt.

I knelt, clutching at the rock, and glanced up at Adam, who was still oblivious to what I was doing.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

So you just totally ruined my meal. I got all starving despite the hour and scrounged up a plate of food and sat down here to read you story. And I got all caught up in it and distracted from my food, so fascinated and drawn in by your story I was. And now my italian dressing got all over my cranberries and my potato casserole isn't quite as hot as it was...

*returns to ruined meal*

Leuke said...

Oh dear.

I'm not sure whether or not to apologize or thank you...

Anonymous said...

oooh, that was good! I agree with Ruth. I was drawn in...I just didn't have food sitting around.

Leuke said...

Sweet...really glad you both liked it...