Thoughts from the Whirlwind

I realized something today.

I haven't blogged about my life in seven months, since I failed my fire academy practical. The last few months have been sliding by with almost frightening speed, but I feel like I know a little something more than I used to about staying calm in a whirlwind.

I got a new job about a month and a half ago. I used to work in a warehouse, now I travel between eight different stores for Best Buy, setting something called a planogram. It's a fun word for a usually boring task. We're given an area of the store, and we have to make it look the way the planogram tells us to. My favorite areas to work are music, video games, and appliances. I don't like GPS, because it's a pain in the neck, or home theater, because all those TVs get HOT when they're all on.

I realized today I miss wearing blue a little bit. On the projects, my new team, we all wear black. We're sort of like ninjas in that regard, that and we are all trained to kill at the drop of a hat.

So that's been work. In other areas of life, I emerged from fire academy hopeful only to learn that firefighting is one of the most overwhelmingly competitive jobs in Colorado, if not the whole US. It's also one of the most dangerous, so I found it surprising that so many are so willing to enlist.

Frustrated in my efforts to find I job, I've turned down a little bit of a different path. I returned to an old love, writing. I finally had a breakthrough this year in making progress through a book, and now I'm seventeen chapters in. Seventeen! I'm hoping to finish it, give it a good deal of polish, and get it published. Unless some firefighters show up at my door and offer me a job, in which case I'll have no reason to complain either way.

My new coworkers keep telling me I don't smile enough, and I've been wondering why that is. I feel fairly happy most of the time. Growing up is a funny thing. You sort of learn to march to the beat of your own drum, and care less what others think of you, no matter how crazy you can seem sometimes. And believe me, my coworkers definitely think I'm crazy.

There's a guy at my new job no one seems to like, we'll call him Mike. Another guy on the team "Bill" says Mike reminds him of a serial killer. I was told I might be reminiscent of the Mike at first. But a few days ago Bill told me I wasn't like the "serial killer" after all and I got a seal of approval. I don't generally care how people see me, but it was still good to hear.

So I feel fairly joyous, and I attribute this joy to God, but I don't show it. Maybe one of the biggest things I've learned this year (and am still learning) is to let my happiness radiate a little bit, and smile more. I've always been fairly awkward in social situations, and I'm trying to learn how to "de-awkward" myself. It's been slow going but I think I've made some progress. People are very much like unfinished books, our stories are all works in progress, and they tend to get better given time.

Chapter 17 is coming along nicely, should be posted soon. I love what I've got so far. I'm so excited to share it. Later llamas.

Recommended listening:

"Elevator" --House of Heroes
"Love is For the Middle Class" --House of Heroes
"Protection" --Future of Foresty
"Working to Be Loved" --Future of Forestry
"Oh, Happiness" --David Crowder Band
"Shadows" --David Crowder Band
"Part Of It" --Relient K
"Map of the Problimatique" --Muse
"Warrior" --Secret and Whisper
"Xoxoxo" --Secret and Whisper